Fake IPL Player Glossary

If you haven't checked it out yet fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com is the most happening site of this ipl 2009. If you r new to this site u will need this glossary below to follow the blog. The mysterious insider who is writing this blog is supposedly a KKR insider (unwanted player/staff member/journo...etc..) whose identity it seems will be revealed at the end of the season.


Aaila = Tendulkar
Appam Chutiya = Sreesanth (the best nickname out of all)
Babli = Preity Zinta
Badshah/ Vinnie /Dildo = SRK
Batliwala = Vijay Mallya
Bevdaa = Ryder
Bevdaas = Royal Challengers Bangalore
Bhookha naan = Buchanan
Big Brother = Raj Kundra - Big Sis's boy toy
Big Mac = Mathew HAyden
Big sis = Shilpa Shetty
Boy George = Joy Bhattacharya (he is in the mgmt of KKR, also the PRIME contender for the title of the Fake IPL Player)
Bublee = Bret Lee
Buddhiman Baba = Wriddhiman Saha
Bunty = Ness Wadia
Calypso = Chris Gayle
Castro = Fidel Edwards
Chikna Pussy = David Hussey
Chinnu Popli = Virat Kohli
Chirkut Teli = Bharat Chipli
Cool Dude =Dhoni
Dewar = Rahul Dravid
Durbaan of Patiala = Tom Moody(Coach of KXIP)
Ganji Hanger = Sanjay Bangar
Ghati Baba = Rohit Sharma
Kishan Kanhaiya = Ravi Shastri
Laal Chaddi Dada / Lordie = Sourav Gangly
Lady Jaya = Jayawardene
Little John = Ishant Sharma
Little sis = Shamita Shetty
Mangal Pandey = Laxmiratan Shukla
Meera Bhai = Harbhajan
Original Bevda = Jesse Ryder
Paedophile priest = Gilchrist
Pamela Indersingh = VRV Singh
Prince of Patiala = Yuvraaj
RDB = Rohan Bannerjee
Saala Slimeball = Lalit Modi
Sandy Maddy Babe = Mandira Bedi
Shakespeare = Akash Chopra
Sheikh = Shane Warne
Skipper = McCullum
Springbock = Rander Wyke
Sticky something = Ricky Ponting
Stylebhai = Murali Karthik
Vakil Saab = Kumara Sangakkara(as he is a trained lawyer)
VVS Ram = VVS Laxman

Stars of IPL 2009

It has been exciting couple of weeks after the recent edition of IPL that started in SA. So who r the stars of this IPL and the teams that will go all the way??

1) Kamran Khan

One person who is really showing promise is the left armer Kamran Khan. This guy cost Royals only Rs 12lakh!!!Warne's knack of identifying and promoting talent is amazing. This 18year old comes from a very poor background and until recently while going on training camps in India he was sleeping on railway stations. This is what he said "Be it Lucknow or Kanpur, I used to sleep at platforms. I used to buy a platform ticket and spend the night there" (as he couldn't afford hotel rooms) . Already he has all the looks of a left arm Malinga, the lankan slinger. He still extracts considerable bounce with his action and has some lethal yorkers and in the recently tied game with the shahrukh riders he also showed he has a cool head. So I am predicting he is here to stay and will enter the Indian team sooner than later.

2) Y. Pathan

Nothing more needs to be said about this guy who was a sensation in 2008. Now he is one real star who is power packed and can send spinners into a real spin. What an amazing game he has had with the knight riders super over where the mystery spinner Mendis was no longer a mystery but he was history :). If Y.Pathan gets going RR will be in the top 4.

3) L. Malinga

The official slinger and toe crusher has become really lethal with the weight of his hair completely reduced. This has given him the extra speed and control and with most of the games being d/n not many batsmen can even c the ball coming from his hands. recently there was a funny scenario where Mccullum asked the upires not to wear white caps as he couldn't c Malinga's ball :) the umpires switched to red caps not that it mattered. He is going to rock this IPL'09

4) AB Dvilliers

Now this is one guy who is really looking in awesome form. The only player who is rocking not by smashing the bowlers but by playing real cricketing shots. his amazing century was all class and elegant power hitting. If he keeps going Delhi will be in the top 4.

5) Sachin T

"The curious case of Sachin" This guy seems to grow younger with age and his recent hitting with jayasurya just showed everyone that Sachin is the Master of all (T20/oneday/Test). He trascends all forms of cricket with his class elegance power innovation and knowledge of the game. Just when everyone wrote him off he has come back to bite the same critics. So he is hungry. he wants that cup badly and it can be seen in his eyes and he is going to go all out fot it. This is a guarantee. With Malinga, Bhajji, Zaheer and Bravo they have the best bowling combination. They will be dfinitely in top 4.

6) P. Ojha

He is one reason I think Deccan will go all the way. Extremely consistent with wonderful flight variations and a game changer spinner Ojha has really come to the party and if he keeps bowling the way he has Deccan will be in the top 4.

Final 4 of IPL 2009

1) Mumbai Indians
2) Deccan Chargers
3) Delhi Daredevils
4) Rajasthan Royals

Breathless Singing

I still remember when I heard for the first time SPB singing "mannil indha kadhal inri" from "Keladi Kanmani" and hearing in TV and newspapers that may be this was first time anyone had sung such a tough song catching his breath throught the entire pallavi! Of course he also gasps and acts of shortness of breath after singing in the movie and someone suggested that all this may be an act or the song may have been edited in the studio to sound like that. However there is no denying that anyone who attempts to sing this song and do full justice to it needs to have good lung capacity. The funny part is those days in the college we would just sit and try to take this up as a challenge and try to fight it out just to complete the stanza "vennilavum Ponni Nadhiyum.." and by the time we get to the end of the challenging stanza "Adhisaya sugam tharum..." we will all be gasping for breath and admiring the singer......

Anyway the point of this post was Ilayaraaja in an interview mentioned that he had done this much before with Janaki in "Kanmaniye kadhal enbadhu karpananyo....." in the movie "Aarilirundhu arubathu varai" and now after listening to that...this one too is a tough beautiful song to sing holding one's breath......

I guess instead of doing Yoga and other breathing exercises people could just attempt singing these two songs daily morning and evening before food......and I am sure they would all remain as healthy as those doing sudharshana kriyas....

so lets all take up the challenge and see if we can find any more breathless songs to sing and remain healthy!!!

Songs with Patriotic Fervour

I have always had a big liking for songs with patriotic lyrics and tunes. Over the years AR Rehman has become a master of composing tunes to such patriotic songs, which really makes you get goosebumps when you listen to them. One such song is from Swades, "Yeh Jo Des hai tera"....the beauty of the song not only lies in the slow build-up but also in the crescendo it reaches...typically characetristic of ARR...Other important features being the Shehnaii in the background...and finally the most important thing of all the lyrics....It is important to note here that very few songs which become so called super-hit songs these days have any meaningful lyrics...most of the time the background music is so loud that you can't even understand the lyrics if there are any...However this song is an exception....Especially for us NRI's who are far away from India....whenever I listen to these songs I wonder what am I doing in this foriegn land...how long will I stay here with mixed identities...when will I have the courage and passion to do what my heart feels......when will I break away from the socio-economic responsibilities.....when will I return to my motherland once and for all????? But after a few minutes of being philosophical I am back to doing my 5-day job and weekend getaways....

Anyway let my rambings not spoil this beautiful song...I am giving the lyrics in english and the actual song in hindi is shown below that.

This country of yours is your motherland

and is calling out to you

this is a bond which can never break

how can you forget the scent of your earth

you can go anywhere but you'll always come back

in new paths, in every sigh

to your lost heart

someone will say

this land of yours is your motherland

life is telling you

you have achieved everything now what's left

looks like hapiness has been showered on you

but you're far from your home

now come back oh crazy one

where at least someone will call you their own

and will call out to you

that very same country

this land that is yours.....

this moment has hidden in it

a whole century of life

don't ask why in the road

has come a fork with two ways

you are the one who should choose the path

you should choose

which direction to take

this very country

this land that is yours....


Lyrics: Javed Akhtar Singer: ARR

(Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara…
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta) -2
Mitti ki jo khushboo, tu kaise bhoolaayega
Tu chaahe kahin jaaye, tu laut ke aayega
Nayi nayi raahon mein, dabi dabi aahon mein
Khoye khoye dilse tere, koyi ye kahega
Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta (Hmm…hmm…hmm…hmm…hmm…)

Tujhse zindagi, hai ye keh rahi
Sab toh paa liya, ab hai kya kami
Yun toh saare sukh hai barse
Par door tu hai apne gharse
Aa laut chal tu ab diwaane
Jahaan koyi toh tujhe apna maane
Awaaz de tujhe bulaane, wahi des

Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta (Hmm…hmm…hmm…hmm…hmm…)

Ye pal hai wahi, jis mein hai chhupi
Koyi ek sadi, saari zindagi
Tu na poochh raaste mein
kaahe Aaye hain is tarah do raahein
Tu hi toh hai raah jo sujhaaye
Tu hi toh hai ab jo ye bataaye
Chaahe toh kis disha mein jaaye wahi des

Ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera, tujhe hai pukaara
Ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahin sakta Hmm…hmm…hmm…

Love is Very Secretive!!

I don't know how many of you have heard this beautfiul song..simple tunes but excellent lyrics and photography makes this a great song...For all those who love to hear calm soothing melodies this one is a must hear!


Song: Ragasiyamaanathu kaadhal

Movie: Kodambakkam

Music: Sirpy

Lyricist:Singers: Harish Raghavendra and Harini


[Male]Ragasiyamaanathu kaadhal, miga migaRagasiyamaanathu kaadhal

Mugavari sollamal mugam thanai maraikkum

Oru thalaiyakavum sukham anubhavikkum

Swarasyamaanathu kaadhal, miga migaSwarasyamaanathu kaadhal


[Male]Sollamal seiyum kaadhal kanamaanathu

Sollachonnalum solvathumillai manamaanathu

Sollum sollai thedi thedi yugam ponathu

Intha sogam thanae kaadhalile sugamanathu

Vasanai velichatthai pola Athu suthanthiramanathum alla

Eerathai iruthinai polaAthu olinthidum, velivarum mella

Ragasiyamaanathu kaadhal…


[Female]Kelkaamal kattum anbu uyarvaanathu

Kettu koduththalae kaadhal angu uyiranathu

Kettum kelvi kaadhal thaane pathil vazhuthu

Kathal kettu vaangum porulum alla iyalpaanathu

Neerinai neruppinai polaViral thoduthalil purivathum alla

Kaadhalum kadavulai polaAthai uyirinil unaranum mella

Ragasiyamaanathu kaadhal…

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody

Whenever I think of our cricket team and their team spirit...this famous joke comes to my mind

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was

Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that

Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did

what Anybody could have done.

Philosophy of Life

Just woke up today morning with a tune in my brain....a beautiful song with wonderful lyrics sung by Kishore Kumar..For those not well-versed in Hindi the translation something close is provided at the end.....

Movie: Piya Ka Ghar, Singer: Kishore Kumar, Lyrics: Anand Bakshi and Music Director: Laxmikant Pyarelal

ye jeewan hai, is jeewan kaa
yahee hai, yahee hai, yahee hain rangarup
thode gam hai, thodee khushiyaan
yahee hai, yahee hai, yahee hain chhaanw dhoonp

ye naa socho, is mein apanee, haar hain ke jeet hai
use apanaa lo jo bhee, jeewan kee reet hai
ye jid chhodo, yoo naa todo, har pal ik darpan hai

dhan se naa duniyaan se,
ghar se naa dwaar sesaanso kee dor bandhee hai,
praeetam ke pyaar se
duniyaa chhute ,par naa tute, ye kaisaa bandhan hai?

(Translated As..)
This is Life...
These are the various colours to life....Always there is....a little sorrow.. a little happiness....
Sometimes sunny sometimes full of shadows...This is Life!

Do not think whether in this life we are living...
Are we winning or are we Losing...
Just accept the order of Life...let go of your obsessed minds...
Do not shatter the present moment as every single moment is a mirror of its own!

Neither to wealth nor to this world...neither to homes nor to doors...
but our breath is tied more to the love of our life...
The world can depart from us but not our Love
what kind of knot is that.....

This is Life...Always there is....a little sorrow.. a little happiness....
Sometimes sunny sometimes full of shadows...This is Life!

What are our cricketers doing now!!!

It is time to wonder what some of our cricketers are doing after they came back from South africa
1) Virender Sehwag : He just hit a "blazing" century in a small ground between a sugarcane field in Delhi and according to the reporter "He has announced hisclear intentions to the selectors for a comeback". It is to be noted that after the match he drank some sugarcane juice and shouted Pongalo Pongal.If u don't believe check out this link http://www.hindu.com/2007/01/11/stories/2007011109502200.htm

2) Tendulkar visited Sania Mirza and consulted her on how to get rid of his Tennis elbow...on the way he bought some strings from Walmart to tie up all the loose ends on his hamstring

3) Dravid celebrated his birthday in style by cuttinga 8 kilo cake...however since the cake was very delicate and fragile Dravid very mindful of the situation was ultra cautious in his approach and by the time he finished cutting the cake it took 8.0 hrs and when he turned around, everyone who had gathered for the party had already left!

4) Dada alias Ganguly who cameback with a bang in South Africa said that he watched 1) Pather panchali(satyajit ray movie), 2) read newspapers, 3) drank lot of tea and send an email to Nagma and Dalmia. Whenqueried further he said that the first three activities are common to most Bongs and the next two are his daily routine :)

5) VVS Laxman has just been taken under her wings by P. T. Usha, who will be guiding him in the running between wickets without thinking. Lakshman said thatUsha has told him something he didn't know before that is "When u think don't run and when u run don't think"

6)Mohammed kaif who came back much earlier has been busy whitewashing his house. This he said was to remove all the cow-dung stains as protestors led by some Mehtaji in his colony had thrown cow-dung at his house in appreciation of his batting. When asked whatwere his plans for future he said he plans to start a GOBAR GAS plant.

7) Our new boy Sreesanth will be doing an item number in a Prabhu Deva directed Gult movie tentatively titled " Nuvvosnane Nuvossnanu-part2".

8) Dhoni was found milking some cows in Lalloo Prasad Yadav's cow-shed..This he said would later help him to milk the runs in Windies during the world-cup...Apart from that he said "100% whole fat milk is the secret of my energy".

About the rest no word yet!

Wonderful Display of India in South Africa One-day Series

I don't think there is any need to be critical of thisIndian team...

In fact statistics show that they haveclearly improved with every game. After losing the second ODI by more than 150 runs and the third by morethan 100, the boys cut down on the losses a bit in thefourth, bringing the margin down to 80!Unfortunately according to this calculation we will have a win possibility only after 30 matches but the stupid board has made it just a 5 match series...

Moreover you can see that the south africans arereally scared of this team as you can see that fortomorrow's 20/20 they have dropped Jacques Kallis,Shaun Pollock, Mark Boucher, Mkhaya Ntini, Andre Neland Andrew Hall and taken some fresh blood in theteam...

Above all we are also going to have the great short-pitched bowling playing expert or own Pyare DADA joining the team shortly. I am sure Dada will give sound advice to all the current members who need to know the right DADA way to play such bowling which is both the legs in the air,eyes completely closed, head swayed away from the line of the delivery but the bat hangs out in front of theball so that the ball can decide whether to kiss the edge of the bat or the gloves before it decides on a slip fielder.

Apart from all these positives another thing to look forward to is the great GULT Veerapandya VangipurappuVenkatasai Laxman who will be the new vice-captain who is an expert in running between the wickets and 100%of the time makes the decision to run or not in the middle of the wicket....So even if we lose some(pls read all) matches it willbe an experienced loss and not some stupid inexperienced loss...

Jai Ganguly

End of Sachin Tendulkar

Flashback: In sharjah against Australia 1997-98 Tendulkar hits 143 against the Aussies giving Warne nightmares. During that amazing innings one of the many times Tendulkar danced down the tracks and thrashed every bowler around him, I just froze with wonder at the amazing sight of perfection with elegance, beauty par excellence, drowning in the flood of unbridled joy, a single tear drop crept down my cheek, creating a calming silence unaware of the high decibel levels created by friends watching the game in the same room.

Forward 10 years to Present: In South Africa 3rd test Test Tendulkar hits 14 rugged runs in 62 balls. During this innings I am sitting on a chair, slowly lying down then getting into a comforter and trying to fall asleep to get way from this misery of having to see ball after ball deadpanned. Even though it is way late into the night, I am not able to sleep not b’coz the game is not boring enough, but b’coz of the frustration creeping through my head reaching to a height of full-fledged irritation encompassing every atomic unit of my human body. The dead bat of Sachin giving even the weakest bowler an elated feeling of being the most threatening!!!

Even recently Shane Warne said it is better to retire when somebody asks why are you instead of when somebody asks why don’t you…

Especially when an outcast like Ganguly has to come in your support to say everyone goes through this decline in this form of game…..Sachin you don’t need this…U want people to remember you the way you were years ago giving the bowlers and audience sleepless nights of joy and not sleepless nights of frustration! And if you have any intention of repeating one of these boring innings you may as well bid good-bye to the game so that we may remember you as a master blaster and not a master grafter…

Final piece of advice to sachin…Stay away from the blind fans of yours and try watching you own innings (14 of 62) at 4.00 a.m. in the morning staying awake and make your own judgement!!!!